Thanks ‘T’ – This One Is For You

The past 5 weeks I’ve been in Charleston with family for work, vacation, my father in law getting ill then my grandmother passing away. We came home on Tuesday and we weren’t home 24 hours before we got the call that Renee’s dad (who I call ‘T’) may not have much time with us in this life. I took her to the airport immediately. The kids and I came down earlier today (Thursday).  After dealing with Nanny’s death last week I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with another one-  Especially with Emma and Emerson,  they are smart, they both realize something is going on but obviously at that age they are still figuring out death- heck, they are at the beginning of figuring out life ( I’ll argue that we never figure out life, I haven’t- I live, I love and I do it with all my heart and soul). I now sit in ‘T’s’ computer room, listening to him struggle to breathe a bit.  He’s taking morphine to relax but the bottom line is that his heart, lungs and other organs are slowly but surely beginning to fail.  Tonight we sat around and joked a bit, watched some football and then the ending of Road House.  Not intentionally but it was on.  I realize he is on morphine but I know he knew I was there-  I got the occasional, “where’s Emma and Emerson”.  I’m not so sure he’ll make it till the morning… so here I sit- more thoughts online. I remember the first time I met Renee’s dad- I’m pretty sure he had no clue...

Death & Ramblings

I included the word ramblings in the title because that is what this is. It’s a mind dump of the past week. I apologize if it seems too personal or possibly a bit confusing. I’ll try to make sense. My first memory of death is January 1st, 1982. My papa died that night and it’s also the night Clemson won their National Football title. You know what is sad? I remember the Clemson championship game more than I remember anything about my papa dying. I wasn’t in the same town when he died because my parents left my sister and I with friends while they traveled to be with them. That’s it. I can’t recall the funeral. I can’t recall going to GA to even be at the funeral. I’m pretty sure at that time I became scarred and scared of death. The very idea of it. Fast forward 9 years to 1991. My great grandfather known as grandpa died. This was my first real experience of someone close to me dying. I was living with grandpa, my nanny Beck (my mom’s mom) and aunt in Union, SC (dare I say I was attending school at the University of South Carolina- please don’t let that get out, my heart has always been with Clemson but USC let me go to school near my grandparents). He and I would take weekly trips to Burger King and to a classic car dealer. He was in his 80s but begged me to let him buy a 1967 convertible Fiat Spider (they had a green one and a red one). I would have...